Loss of a leader

Whatever your political views are.... you cannot stay away from this magnificent personality if you are a malayalee....

He was the real 'Tharavattu karanavr' of us... even though historians find a bit of flaws in his life and political career. His demise is a great loss to kerala....

Yesterday I had a long conversation with one of my long lost friend through conneceted servers. She observed that I have'nt been changed in all these years, which means I have been adjudged with the same mental condition now, when compared to what I were at times when we both used to have frequent conversations.

But things have really changed for me since those times. I was then a bachelor who had just stepped in to the boots of a soldier, struggling against all odds to marry the love of my life and now...... I am a happy man, married and who introduces his wife to others saying.."Hello, meet my problem of life" with a wicked smile...(Ofcourse, unfortunately she is the same old love!)

.......is now a father of four year old 'question bank' and standing at the end of a short initial career in the Navy.

Suerly with all these changes, I should have been a different man and how is she saying that I have'nt been changed..!

I think, may be we all have certain things with us which we carry throughout the span of our life. Be it the pattern of certain strokes with a pen on a paper when you are talking to someone over telephone (or mobile...) or the sense and direction of words you spill out with a loose mouth.

I am determined to carry all these throughout. Don't stop reading.. there is always a scope for change.

My dear diary……….

Yesterday, I suddenly had a feeling that I am taking everything too deep in my heart.. that the brooding lasts longer than needed…
On thinking further… I began to realize that I am not the same one which I used to be some four to five years back…….
Certainly the grey hairs on my skull and chin were not the only reason for my transformation……
Then ??
It’s the withdrawing of a fatigue mind..
Or
Premature male menopause

God I am thirty years old… who has just had his last set of wisdom tooth..
Too young for a retired life and too old to be a fresher…..!!

Who in the world has first called me confused sanyal………

He deserves a pat on his back..

Back friends ….After a long time…………….

I was busy with a lot of things……….

Busy……….!

Well thats a tactical word……….

Busy could have been with any reasons…………

Busy with work, Busy with family matters, Busy with friends, Busy with nature, Busy in crying, laughing, jogging……

Busy in sitting idle and not indulging in any creative ventures………

But, yesterday, I suddenly had a feeling that I should continue writing my diary………

Cos diary is the direct reflection of heart….. they say so………I don’t know..

And if it is so… then I need it to know what’s in my heart.!!!

My daughter is so naughty.....

she is picking up things......

my wife writes....

like listening patiently what her mummy has to say.......

like talking strange matters in her lullaby language......

smiling softly whenever the phone bell rings..(Jas writes, that is because she thinks her papa is calling...)

I am eager to see her eventhough I see her in mind everytime i shut my eyes....

its a nice feeling....

to be a father............

you will not realise how your priorities has changed.......

The monsoon is in its full swing now.......

the rain brought back a lot of nostalgic memories......

my village, in rainy season....looks like a green velvet sheet....

and in my childhood.... rain was a magical phenomenon....

gone are the days are golden.....

I will not.....

Yesterday evening....

i was left alone in the room....

Subbu and saji went out to buy a new mobile......

i was watching 'someone like you' in star movies......

drinking started in a slow pace yesterday and gradually gained momentum......

and in the middle of night Shekaran, "the super Luttappi" want to go for a long drive.....

initially nobody was willing to give him a company... but at last...

all the five of us set out for an outing.....

that was a thrilling night, which i dont want to repeat.....